In a post upvoted over 13,000 times on Reddit, the 19-year-old man, posting under the handle Automatic-Smile2051, explained that his dad and his wife died three months ago, with his 15-year-old sister, Calla, coming to live with him.

The siblings had already lost their mother and, since he is working full time, he was able to take care of his sister. However, when Child Protective Services asked him about looking after Lacey, the 5-year-old his dad’s wife had from a previous relationship [her dad is ’not in the picture’], he told them “I just wanted to take my sister.”

Since then, he has been hounded by Lacey’s maternal grandparents who are adamant she should be raised alongside her step siblings. However the man is refusing to back down.

Children raised without parents not only miss out on the love and support of a mom or dad but, in the case of younger kids, the experience can often have a detrimental impact on their overall development.

Charles Nelson, a professor of pediatrics at Harvard Medical School and Boston Children’s Hospital, told NPR without someone to provide the necessary parental attention and affection “the wiring of the brain goes awry.” He believes this can lead to emotional and mental health problems in later life.

Nelson studied the brains of children raised in orphanages and noted some troubling results. “We found a dramatic reduction in what’s referred to as gray matter and in white matter,” he told the news outlet. “In other words, their brains were actually physically smaller.”

While Lacey is not facing the same hardship as those children raised from a young age in an orphanage, her grandparents believe she would be better served living alongside Calla.

According to the man, they told him they were “older and she could use as much family as possible and that she misses Calla” and that their “dad would have wanted us to stick together.”

However, the man has so far refused their requests to reunite the stepsisters, noting that Calla was “not really” bothered about seeing Lacey and he “didn’t care what my dad wanted.”

The man said the grandparents said he should be “ashamed” of himself and that Lacey would have been better off with him as he is “young, fit and healthy.” As a result, the man has “blocked” them on social media.

Ruth E. Freeman, founder and president at Peace at Home Parenting Solutions, told Newsweek she felt that despite the grandparents’ protestations, the 19-year-old had made a “wise decision” in not taking on his late dad’s stepdaughter.

“Everyone in the extended family and his community should ideally support him in this decision and help him with his younger sister in any way that they can,” she said. “The adult caregivers for the 5 year old can take responsibility for supporting her relationship with her siblings by keeping them all connected to the best of their ability, by arranging visits.”

Freeman added: “Siblings are often separated after the loss of parents and while it is not ideal, the relationship can be supported in many ways that really matter.”

That sentiment was echoed on social media. Enough-Process9773 commented: “You’re 19 and looking after your 15-year-old sister and they wanted you to take care of their 5-year-old granddaughter too? They need to figure out how to provide care for their granddaughter.”

EmeraldBlueZen added: “I can’t imagine a 19 year old being ok with the responsibility of taking care of a sibling. He already has WAY too much responsibility on his plate without adding another kid who’s really a stranger.”

Elsewhere, 2020AlbertPete felt regardless of whether there is a blood link, Lacey’s age made the prospect of a 19-year-old caring for two kids too much to contemplate.

“Even if the 5 year old was your full sister, there is an enormous difference between caring for a 5 year old and a 15 year old,” they said. “15 year olds are relatively self sufficient, 5 year old can not be left alone.”

Newsweek reached out to u/Automatic-Smile2051 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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