In the original post, the 24-year-old describes how he had dinner at the house of his girlfriend’s parents.
“Her mom made this absolutely divine pasta. She said the sauce recipe had been craftily modified by her family across generations and everyone who learned of it was sworn to secrecy.”
He goes on to say that subsequently he was “craving” the dish again, so asked his girlfriend to make it for him, as she knew the recipe.
“She agreed, and went out to get groceries for it (along with the some other stuff I asked her to pick up for me). After dinner, I asked her how much I owe her for the stuff she bought for me, and she said ‘I don’t remember, just check the bill.’
“I checked it, and while looking for my stuff on it, I found a bunch of really unique and surprising ingredients that I figured she must’ve added to the pasta sauce. I really love reverse engineering dishes and figuring out their recipes, so I had some suspicion already.
“The rest of the ingredients (that she already had at home) I figured out by taste. So I decided to try my hand at the recipe based on the information at hand and made what I can call a pretty much perfect copy. I had her try it to confirm and she asked me how I managed to figure out the mystery ingredients and I confessed the grocery bill was a big help. She’s kind of upset because she suspected I tricked her into making it and is saying that she failed her family by not guarding the recipe well enough.
“After I explained myself, she believes it was an accident but thinks I should’ve pushed it out of my mind as soon as I learned about it and respected the secrecy instead of making the sauce.”
One user commented: “YTA [you’re the a**hole] She’s right, you didn’t actually learn the recipe—you snooped, inferred the recipe, and actively tested your assumptions,” gaining nearly 15,000 likes.
Another user said: “Ah yes the classic ‘Someone has a boundary/preference that in no way harms me to respect, but I’m going to go out of my way to disrespect this person because I don’t consider that boundary/preference valid.”
User PabloDabscovar disagreed writing: “People who keep recipes secret are TA. Have fun with your pecan pie in the grave, *Susan.”
An article in Psychology Today on the importance of trust asserts: “Trust is one of the cornerstones of any relationship—without it, two people cannot be comfortable with each other and the relationship will lack stability.
“At its most basic, trust lets us feel secure because we believe our partner has our back and will be loyal through thick and thin. It also allows us to display our thoughts and feelings openly and honestly, because we regard our partner as supportive and don’t worry that they will judge, ridicule, or reject us.”
