Posted on the popular video-sharing platform, TikTok, a woman has received over 2 million likes and 13 million views for recording an uncomfortable interaction with a date.
@talisa0913 began her video by thanking her date and asking if she should cover her half of the bill. Her date then offered to pay for her.
After sharing her appreciation, she explained that she was going to head back up to her room. He went on to ask if he could walk her there and in response, she politely told him she didn’t think anyone was allowed upstairs if they weren’t staying in the room.
“Oh I get it,” he said.
She politely explained that she doesn’t have sex on the first date and he responded with “who said that?”
She explained to him that she felt like he was implying it the entire date.
“You just wanted a free meal. Understood,” he argued.
“No, no. First off, I have no problem paying for my own bill to avoid something like this,” she said.
“Then go for it … do it,” he told her, “Pay for your own bill.”
Commenters were quick to slam the man for his choice of words.
“Not the gaslighting when you said you don’t do it on the first date,” one user said, receiving over 81,000 likes on their comment.
“Well thank god he showed his true self on the first date,” another said.
One commenter reminded, “Ladies, even if he pays for dinner, you still don’t owe him anything!”
“As soon as he said ‘oh you just wanted a free meal’ he verified he was expecting something for the meal,” a user pointed out.
“Sounds like he got a bit emotional there,” wrote one TikTok user.
“I ALWAYS pay for my stuff and drive myself cause at the end I don’t owe anybody anything,” another commenter shared.
“Walk you to your room? Did he not [realize] you may not want to tell someone where you live on a first date,” a user questioned.
Feeling uncomfortable on dates
“We all know to be cautious with online dates. Online identities are anonymous and we have absolutely no understanding of their psychological makeup before meeting them,” relationship expert and author Susan Winter told Newsweek.
Winter suggests to clients that they meet for coffee or tea on their first date, not a meal.
“This has nothing to do with the concept of a ‘woman’s worth.’ It allows you to escape an uncomfortable situation with ease as the time frame is set to a shorter period (this is simply a meet and greet event.) Additionally, there’s little room for your date to assume you ‘owe them for the money they’ve spent,’ Winter explained.
Winter added that if you feel uncomfortable on a first date, politely excuse yourself.
“If you feel that your date will be hostile if you don’t give a plausible excuse, then give a plausible excuse. This has less to do with etiquette and more to do with survival and safety,” Winter told Newsweek.
Winter also shared some red flags to look for while out on a date:
ImpatienceHostilityIntrusive questioning (or boundary-pushing)Signs of excessive need for controlOvertly rigid thinkingHate speechObvious bias
