In a post published on Reddit’s r/AmITheA**hole forum, a woman under the anonymous username u/throwaway5253541 shared her story for feedback from the “AITA” community. The viral post has over 7,000 upvotes and 2,000 upvotes.
The original poster (OP) began her story by explaining that she has been married to her husband for two years. Previously, he has been married twice and has six kids. He wanted their finances to be split which she is fine with but noticed that he “blows through” his money and she finds it “frustrating.” He told her he spends his money on his kids and other commitments.
She wrote that his bank account is “almost empty” and he has been asking friends and family for money and that he borrowed $4,000 from her brother. When the OP asked her husband about it, he told her that it was for his kids, but she finds that hard to believe as his eldest is 16 years old.
“He came and asked to borrow 14k from me, Pull it from my account and into his,” the Redditor explained, “I tried asking him what he needed the money for but he said it was none of my business, then insisted that he’ll return it asap. I said okay, but under the condition, that he sign a contract stating he’ll return the money in full. He acted all shocked and offended then went on about how I don’t trust him and his word. I told him that’s all I got and this was my one and only condition.
“He kept ranting about how I’m refusing to help and making the situation more difficult for him instead of co-operating. I insisted on a contract to be signed before he even pulls a penny and this morning when I told him this one more time, he blew up and said that we’re family and that I should be ashamed for involving courts and lawyers between family. he left the house and was so upset he hasn’t responded to any of my calls yet,” she concluded.
Newsweek reached out to u/throwaway5253541 for comment.
What to do if your significant other has a spending problem
It is quite common when someone spends more than they should. According to trendhunter.com, 52 percent of Americans go over their monthly budget. Does your significant other have a spending problem? Moneyunder30.com has some tips on how to approach the concern with your partner:
Avoid being judgmental: To prevent an argument, try asking questions to your partner and get their side of the story and figure out how to avoid overspending in the future. Provide evidence that there is a problem in their spending: By creating a spreadsheet or chart can visibly show your partner that they are spending too much. Seek professional help: If you find it tough to talk to your partner about money, try speaking to a financial counselor or therapist. Create financial goals: Try having the same financial goals to make saving seem easier. Create goals on how to save money for something big like a vacation or just paying back what is owed.
Newsweek has published several articles regarding money including a husband who was bashed online for raging at his partner for saving money each month. In another, a woman was urged not to give her parents money after they repeatedly lost theirs to scams and, in another story, the internet slammed a man who “wastes his money” and expects his partner to buy him food.
Redditor reactions
[Not the a**hole] - This sounds like addict behaviour. Is he a gambler? If it was drugs he’d be asking for smaller amounts more often but this sounds like gambling debt,” u/Justagirleatingcake wrote, receiving the top comment of over 10,000 upvotes.
“‘Hey honey, can I have like half your savings? What it’s for? None of your business you ungrateful witch!!’ Obviously [not the a**hole],” u/DouniaLag said.
U/Spare-Article-396 exclaimed, “Fk no, [not the ahole]. He can’t play the ‘we’re family’ card while also playing the ’none of your f**king business’ card. OP, I’m not usually one to resort to such drastic judgements but your marriage is in serious trouble. I actually wouldn’t loan it at all.”
“Made me laugh [to be honest] .. he wants separate finances but you can’t question him as to why he needs your money and does not want to sign a contract .. if you can’t see it OP .. listen to internet strangers and see the [red flags],” urged u/sw33tlips.
